Teach me your paths

Dear friends and family, 

Marilyn and I arrived safely in Kenya a few days ago, and are getting settled into our positions here at Tenwek Hospital. This year, we are accompanied by one of our mentees from San Antonio who is now in his 3d year of his OB/GYN residency. We have known Madison and his wife Savannah since their first year in San Antonio, when Madison arrived at UTHSCSA as a new first year medical student. During that year, they attended a CMDA marriage retreat at our home in Fredericksburg, and have subsequently  become close friends and mentees. It has been fun watching him grow and mature from new medical student, to nearly fully trained OB/GYN physician. It has also been exciting and rewarding to be able to accompany him on his first international mission trip to Africa. He and Marilyn have been less busy than usual, but have already been involved with some C-sections and surgeries. I look forward to hearing and writing about the experiences that await them here. The medical service where I will be working, is again overflowing with the very ill, and the very unusual (at least compared with US inpatient services). As has been the case on previous trips, I have been struggling with doubts and uncertainty about the call to serve here. The last few months have been somewhat of a “spiritual desert” for me, and as a result I have not felt the usual “pull” or “tug” on my heart that I have experienced in the past. I’m again questioning if this is where I’m supposed to be despite prayers for guidance and discernment. Consequently, I am following the advice given to me by one of my previous pastors: “when not certain about what God is calling you to, just keep doing the last thing that you felt clearly called to do, and continue to prayerfully await the next clear leading”. I guess time will tell if this is wise counsel…I’m hopeful that it is. In the meantime, I feel woefully inadequate to the task at hand. I can certainly relate to the feelings described by the apostle Paul: “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). Fortunately, I have had very little in the way of insults, hardships, or persecutions thus far.  Weakness and calamities on the other hand, I’m no stranger to.  Feeling strength through Christ…I’m looking forward to. Please be in prayer for us again this coming month – particularly for wisdom, discernment, good clinical judgement, health and endurance. Stories and experiences will be forthcoming…till then… 

 “Show me your ways Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” (Psalm 25:4-5).