Thoughts on Suffering

 

 

During our first week here at Tenwek, I have been encouraged by my friend Madison to read a book entitled “The Insanity of God; A True Story of Faith Resurrected,” by Nik Ripken. The general theme of the book is that persecution and suffering are to be expected as part of the Christian life, and where suffering is greatest, one often sees remarkably deep faith and miraculous results from obedience to God and His leadings. At Tenwek there is no shortage of human suffering, and despite this (or perhaps because of it), I have encountered many people with deep, rich, faith-filled lives. One example from this past week:

Sharon C. is a 17-year-old Kenyan female who recently suffered the death of her child during birth. While still grieving, she herself became increasingly ill and short of breath. Her heart size was enlarged on chest x-ray, and her lungs began to fill with fluid. She had an echocardiogram (ultrasound of the heart) which showed post-partum cardiomyopathy (weakening of the heart muscle following delivery of a child, which leads to symptoms of heart failure and shortness of breath). She progressed to respiratory failure and had to be intubated and mechanically ventilated. She was aggressively treated with medications to improve her cardiac function and to clear the fluid from her lungs. After several days of aggressive support, she was improving and was weaned off the ventilator. She was extubated and seemed to be doing well but remained incredibly sad and emotionally flat. Her family rallied around her and provided love and support. The intern (Alice) taking care of Sharon, was also very attentive and emotionally invested in her care. Typically, Alice would earnestly pray over Sharon at every encounter, and ask God to heal her body, to comfort her spirit, and to give peace and comfort to her family members. After a few days of improvement, Sharon was again noted to be getting increasingly short of breath and tachycardic ( having a fast heart rate). Her chest x-ray showed what looked like a large fluid collection in the right chest, and two attempts were made to aspirate and remove this “fluid” to help her breathing and oxygenation. These attempts were unsuccessful, and Sharon’s condition continued to deteriorate. She again required intubation and mechanical ventilation. Follow-up chest x-ray showed a progressive “whiting out” of the entire right lung field, and it became clear that she was developing a severe pneumonia rather than a pleural fluid collection.  After several days of ventilation and broad-spectrum antibiotics, she again was improving, and extubated herself (pulled her breathing tube out) during one of her more agitated periods. She was re-intubated because of her decreased level of alertness and concerns about her ability to protect her airway. She remained on sedation while intubated, but despite this was able to “self-extubate” two additional times. After the last episode, her chest x-ray demonstrated a pneumothorax (a collapse of the right lung). She required re-intubation and also the placement of a chest tube to re-expand the right lung. Each of these procedures has undoubtedly produced much pain and suffering for Sharon and her family. Currently, she has been weaned off the ventilator and continues to slowly clear the pneumonia in her right lung. We are all praying that she will eventually be healed. Suffice it to say,  she and her family have had “more than their fair share” of suffering during the course of her hospital stay.

I find myself asking God:  “how much more must she and her family endure?”  I have not been able to talk with Sharon directly (yet) to know how these events might be impacting her faith (or lack of it?), but I can certainly see the effect that it is having on her intern, and her family members. They all continue to exhibit a deep faith that God is present in Sharon’s suffering, and that He is sovereign. The family trusts that we are doing our absolute best to care for her but note that we are also reliant on God for the outcome. In addition to teaching us empathy, resilience, and compassion for others, suffering  “…produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”  (Romans 5: 3-5). As Nik Ripken puts it:  “suffering is one of God’s ordained means for growth of his church. He brought salvation to the world through Christ, our suffering savior, and he now spreads salvation in the world through Christians as suffering saints”  (Nik Ripken, “The Insanity of God; A True Story of Faith Resurrected”).

Other than suffering vicariously for Sharon, and patients like her, I cannot say that serving here at Tenwek involves much discomfort for me personally.  I have a comfortable apartment to provide shelter, the climate is temperate, the food is plentiful and good, and the fellowship provides me with a buffer against loneliness and insecurity. Seeing God at work here among the patients and staff, and having the opportunity to serve alongside them, continues to deepen my personal faith and my determination to follow Jesus to the best of my ability. Watching others suffer and experiencing that suffering along with them is always difficult ….but then, “when everything seems like crucifixion, remember – there is always resurrection in Jesus” (Nik Ripken).

La Pieta - by Michelangelo, St Peter's Basilica, Vatican City